Two weekends ago, I was out at a bar on a Saturday afternoon watching college football. A friend of mine was in town from Oregon, so we were catching up on the Oregon/Stanford game. As a fellow Pac-10 alum (Go ASU!), I didn’t mind watching with her. I take more interest in Pac-10 football than most people in Chicago do.
Stanford routed the Ducks. It wasn’t even really all that close. At the end of the game, one of the people we were with, a fellow Chicagoan, was all “I didn’t know Jim Harbaugh coached Stanford! I LOVE Jim Harbaugh.”
And then I spewed hatred. And probably a little bit of actual saliva since I was drinking. Because I? DO. NOT. LIKE. JIM. HARBAUGH.
Why, you might ask? Well, I shall tell you. It is all because he forced Jim McMahon out of Chicago.
(I’ll just pause right here to let that sink in.)
This is normal, right? To have these irrational hatreds of athletes? For no good reason? Anyone? Bueller?
I understand rivalries. I hate University of Arizona (sorry Devra) because I went to Arizona State. I hate pretty much all of the schools in the Pac-10 for this reason. I am a Cubs fan, therefore hate the St. Louis Cardinals (although I think I actually hate the Houston Astros more. Stems from a deep-seeded hatred of Jeff Bagwell and Craig Biggio.) I am a Chicago Bears fan, so I don’t like the Packers or the Vikings.
But I have other hatred of players, coaches, announcers and teams, most for no good reason. And I’m not talking people I just want to root against. It’s meaner than that. I want to see them injured/destroyed. Here is a short list (with reasons)
- Sean Salisbury – his eyes are too close together
- Ray Lewis – because let’s be honest, he was involved in that whole thing somehow and got off scott free
- Derek Jeter – JUST BECAUSE! (And no, he’s not cute.)
- Lute Olson – he is the Anti-Christ
- Mack Brown – do I even have to LIST a reason?
- Torry Holt – he is a whiney bitch who REFUSES to get tackled and run routes in the middle of the field
- Kurt Warner’s wife – Hey lady! YOU ARE NOT ACTUALLY THE ONE PLAYING!
- B.J. Armstrong – pushed out John Paxson on the Bulls in the 90s
There are so many more, but I won’t continue. Wow. I should really get some therapy.
So tell me, who are the players/coaches/owners you love to irrationally (or rationally) hate?