As some of you may know, I am a really ‘calm, cool, and collected’ type of person. Picture Barney in How I Met Your Mother suited up and hitting on the ladies…that’s my reality in everything I do…at least when my eyes are closed and I’m in a deep sleep. I guess in actual reality I’m a little less suave. I mean, my sister didn’t make a Facebook group “I know Hillary and she’s done something awkward in front of me…” for no reason. There’s some validity to that group and some of the members have seen me do some pretty embarrassing things. Since I’m currently living in a country where I’m learning the language but can’t speak it so well, and I’m not really used to their customs or social cues I figure I’d swallow my pride and share some of my recent awkward moments.
Jacuzzi Man…Last week while I was recovering from my strained quad I was hitting up the Jacuzzi at my lifting gym a lot. It was perfect too because I’d usually get to the lifting gym around 2pm while everyone was at work and there was no one in the Jacuzzi, sauna, hammum, etc. Unfortunately for me, on Friday, a middle-aged man in a Speedo joined me in the Jacuzzi. I was in the coveted extra bubbly area where everyone always wants to go, and I knew he was headed my way. As he entered the water he said something very quickly and loudly to me in French. I was about to tell him I didn’t speak French when he dove underwater. He proceeded to bob in and out of the water making eye contact when he was above, blowing bubbles when he was below, and inching toward me. Every time I opened my mouth to speak he dunked his head. This went on for a full minute. I got uncomfortable. I left the Jacuzzi.
Recycling Troubles…Just another day in my awkward world =)I’m a stickler for rules, so I already feel bad enough about what I’m going to tell you…I was pretty sure I had been putting my trash in the wrong dumpster. I was also pretty sure I had been putting my recycling in the wrong recycling bin. I usually sneak out to a bin that has pictures of bottles on it during a time when there’s no pedestrian traffic to dispose of my recyclables. Okay, so maybe the pictures of ‘bottles’ all look plastic, and there is definitely a can picture circled with a line through it. This is why I run out, put my recycling in there and hurry back in to my building. Not to resort to stereotypes, but I knew I was in for it when I saw an old woman with a cane lingering near me and the recycling bin. I knew she was watching me and I really debated whether or not I should just run away and come back some other time. I sucked it up and went in for the kill. I took out each bottle in my bag and tried to sneak it into the bin. She stopped. Pointed her cane at me. Yelled at me in French. Looked at my bag and said, “NO!” Flustered and irritated I said back (with a little Jersey in me), “So WHERE do they go then!?!?!?” She pointed to the other side of the building with her cane. With my tail between my legs I found not only the correct recycling bins, but also my appropriate dumpster labeled with my building number.
Sauna RulesIt’s not good etiquette to enter a sauna and trap a naked woman in a corner.
Balance…I think you might need to see how I move in order to ‘get’ this. To be honest, anything that inflates or you need to balance on really isn’t my friend. For example, I really struggle to flip over on rafts in the Chesapeake Bay. I cannot walk on a bed without falling. I once wiped out just trying to sit on a physio ball (well, to be fair, a competitive game of Mario Party might have also been involved…). Anyway, every Tuesday we do a physio ball circuit to strengthen our core. One week, my coach got a little inventive and had us try to rotate 360 degrees with only our core area on the ball (hands in the air, only feet could touch the ground). Not to brag, but my 180 was looking good. I could flip from front to back and back to front with careless ease. When it was time to do the 360 I went from front to back to front to off the ball on the ground sprawled out in a pool of my own sweat with the ball halfway across the gym. At least I made my coach laugh…
Alrighty, that’s all I have for right now (or at least all I’m willing to share =)). Although I’m pretty sure another awkward moment is right around the corner!