I’ve had a lot going on inside my brain the last couple of weeks. Namely, what’s next for my career? I ended the season on such a sour note that I was having a hard time processing a lot of things. It was obvious something needed to change. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well, I am not okay with being a certified crazy person.
There were a lot of good things that came out of this year and a lot of growth both as an athlete and a person. But I struggled with consistency and it’s my belief that being consistently good is what it takes to be great. I want to be great. I have no reservations admitting that. I enjoy what I do and I am blessed to have accomplished what I have thus far, but I do want to believe that there is more in store, and that I have the responsibility to figure out how to get there.
This year I did it my way. I didn’t trust anybody, I didn’t need anybody, and I didn’t rely on anyone else but myself. It wasn’t so much of a choice but a necessity. Based on everything that happened though, I came to a conclusion. I can be good doing it my way. I can be top 10 in the world at something relying only on myself to guide me there. But here’s the thing: they only give medals to the top three. So if I’m being totally honest with myself, if I want to be great maybe it was time to admit I need help.
Being my own coach, training partner, advisor, and decision maker was good for me this year. I believed it served its purpose and had its part in my story. But as has been the overall theme in my whole career, I’m making a change. I’m going to go back to trusting someone other than myself to help guide my career to where it needs to be. I’m going to work hard to do whatever it takes to be consistently good, so that I can be great. I am positive I have the tools, but I’m going to take on the role of the apprentice and admit that I need help.
I’m excited. I know I can’t do anything about the low points of this season but I can learn from them and be better next year.