I am just so blessed right now and I am thankful! I was just sitting here thinking about how after the Olympic Trials in June last year I was ready to proclaim my retirement. Yes that’s right I was going to Retire….I told myself that enough was enough. I had worked hard only to fall short of my goal and dream…another Olympic Team. I was tired of the pain I had put my body through and most of all the mental agony, the disappointment and the feeling of despair. I did at that time have the love and support of my mom, husband/daughter, family and friends but it just wasn’t the same not being able to run like my old form and shape. I can remember walking away from the track after my second round, crossing the finish line and holding back my tears. Why Lord….why why…..was all I could say in my head.
I had felt as if he had left me to experience another level of defeat but only to find out that he was just preparing me for my future. My daughter Brooklyn immediately seeing me screamed out to me “Mommie…..and as she saw my sad face…..she just knew what to say! Her immediate response was “But Mommie I still love you”. I just hugged her and held her tight and realized that missing out on the Olympic Team was not the end of the world…..the Lord had blessed me with a loving family and life. What I did not know was that a month later I would lose a very important person from my life. As Team USA left for the Olympics…I had just experience a loss, one I could not imagine, my mother, my rock had passed away.
Once again I asked The Lord to give me strength and I prayed and prayed and prayed for this to be a horrible dream. But it wasn’t…I had loss the person who taught me to be the best, a strong individual who enjoyed seeing me run and most of all my daughter lost her grandmother….a lady she just knew for 3 years but had an awesome relationship with her. I didn’t want to run, I didn’t want to eat, I didn’t want to do much in those weeks following but I slowly got my strength and realized she would have wanted me to continue. And with that I vowed and promised to myself that I was going to continue to make her proud, I would train again and go after my dreams.
I know that The Lord works in mysterious ways and my mom is now an Angel watching over me. She pushes me to be my best, to run that last rep in practice a little harder, to run when I may not feel like it but her memories have encouraged me to WANT TO BE THE BEST. So as I have been racing this indoor season, I plan on using not only my Heart, my Passion but my Mom as my motivation. I have been running in a cross pendent above my brooks sign on my uniform top in memory of her. I give it a kiss before my race and it definitely makes me feel as if my mom is with me. So again thanks thanks thanks to all who continue to support me. I want to make this the best year possible and please stay tuned for more. Welcome to Mary’s Lane…….have a great week.