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December 31st, 2011

Dear Depression,

I know we’ve been spending a lot of time together over the past month, but with the New Year upon us and all, I’ve decided we should go our separate ways.

It’s natural to have a low following a big high, but this time, instead of just flirting with you, I let you stay the night. And then another. And then a month. I never should have done that, and I apologize for misleading you. This simply can’t be a long term relationship. I’m a one man kind of girl.

Look…it’s not you, it’s me. Don’t worry, you will find someone else. You have incredible strength of character. You are nothing if not consistent and nobody darkens up a room like you do. I never slept so well in my life before you. When we were together, I could wear you like a big warm jacket, put the hood over my head, and simply exist.

Well now that I think about it, maybe it is you a little bit. You never shower or shave and you wear your sweats all the time. Frankly, I like to feel sexy and awesome now and then and it’s impossible to do that when you are around. I need to start putting myself out there so I can reach my potential, and that kind of thing just isn’t your style. We simply want different things out of life.

I know a break up letter is kind of juvenile, but I’m not really interested in your opinion on the matter. Your departure is non-negotiable. I’m kicking you out. Git. Pack it up. Scat. Move out.

Peace,

Lauren

P.S. If I see you spending too much time with any of my friends or loved ones, I’m going to tell them you are bad news.

P.P.S. Happy New Year to all my readers. May we all choose joy in 2012, even when it’s hard work.

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