Old Friends are the best friends.

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It’s been a rough couple of weeks at work and I have been struggling to find a balance between work and a personal life let alone find time to hit the gym. It pains to me to admit that the last thing on my mind for the past 10 days has been the Sandy Hook race and I swear I am starting to hear my gym bag yelling at me as we pass in the hallway every morning. Sometimes living alone can be a bad thing – with no-one waiting for you at home you can so easily get caught up in the craziness of the office and before you know it it’s 11pm and you’re still sitting at your desk……that’s been my May. Luckily for me when I feel like I am at my breaking point something happens that reminds me that I am not on this journey alone and that I have friends near and far pulling for me every day whether I realize it or not.

If I have learned anything in the past year it has been the true value of the friendships I have built over the years. I have learned that no matter how often or infrequently you talk a real friend is there for you when you really need them and sometimes even when you least expect them.

Natalie and I had been friends since primary school and were joined at the hip from the minute we met. To say we did everything together would be an understatement whether it was homework after school, sleepovers on the weekends, camping out in my back garden or shopping trips. I never imagined doing anything without her. She would be my best friend forever. But then came A-Levels and college, we both moved away from home and lost touch and then I moved to the US and we really lost touch. I went home once a year but rarely saw any of my old friends, then I got married and I have to admit I didn’t think I’d ever see her again. I thought of her on occasion but it wasn’t until I was searching through a school friend’s page on Facebook and friend requested who I thought was a familiar face with an unfamiliar surname that we were reconnected. A chance instant message one morning in the office and we were back in touch with 16 years to catch up on. I decided to get the news of my split out of the way immediately. Sharing the news of my separation and impending divorce was still difficult for me and getting out of the way felt like a relief – now we could move on to catching up. To my surprise she responded not with words of how sorry she was, or how hard it must be but how it sounded like I need a vacation and that perhaps what I need was some time for myself. Then she explained that she and her husband were living in Barbados for the next few months and that I needed to book a flight and come and stay with them for a couple of weeks. That what I really needed at that moment was an old friend and some time away from the stress of the separation and work. So two days later I booked a flight to Barbados.

My friends in the US thought I was out of my mind. “You haven’t talked to her in 16 years and you are going to spend two weeks living in her house in Barbados! You’re crazy!” I didn’t think I was crazy, in fact I hadn’t been so excited about a vacation since I was a kid. I was on countdown. I was a 34 year old woman with a vacation countdown on her kitchen calendar. We sent each other countdown messages on Facebook but shared very little else about our lives. We had made a school girl pact to save all the catching up for Barbados – we had waited 16 years so we could wait a few more weeks. She loved my go get ‘em attitude and I loved her compassionate caring offer of a much needed mental and physical escape from the stress of a painful separation. So 6 weeks later I stepped off the plane in Bridgetown Barbados. Not nervous but excited to see my best friend and the minute we set eyes on each other we burst in to tears. There were hugs and more tears and stares of disbelief, I of course looked like her best friend but had a strange Yankee twang that was throwing her for a loop, it would of course disappear over the course of the visit and my very proper English accent that went back to New York with me brought about many stares in my first week of meetings back in the office.

It was an amazing two weeks, we picked up where we had left off 16 years prior and spent our days reminiscing about growing up together and of course filling each other in on the various ups and downs of our lives. I hadn’t realized how much I missed her until she was back and we made a promise to each other that this trip happened was not coincidence and there was a reason we were back in each other’s lives. We had missed out on so much, Natalie was married with two small boys and I had been married and now divorced and we hadn’t been able to be there for each other through the good and the bad times – never again. I left there refreshed and with no idea how I would ever be able to thank her for this amazing gift she had given me. I left the US broken, disheartened and with no idea how I was supposed to pick myself up and start my life all over again. I came back from Barbados realizing that I had been given this amazing second chance at life and I needed to embrace it and run with it – and I would get to share every accomplishment and set back with my best friend.

So when I have weeks like I have had this month and everything seems to take a back seat to the responsibilities that we all have, and I struggle to find a balance between my job and my life I think about that trip. I think about how the love, support and words of encouragement from an old friend meant more than she would probably ever know. And despite a 16 year hiatus she still knows me better than anyone else, and when I need a pick me up or a little motivation she is never further than a text message away and there is something so reassuring in that. Old friends are the best friends and when they have your back you can do anything – literally.

Where's my gym bag?

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