Post-Baby Marathon Training Log: July 5, 2009 - What a Difference a Year Makes
 | posted by AnnGaff, a Women Talk Sports blogger About AnnGaff: Chief Technical Officer, Women Talk Sports. I competed in Track & Field and Cross-Country in college at the University of Nebraska and competed professionally in Track & Field (3000m Steeplechase) fr...more |
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What a difference a year makes.
On July 4, 2008, I woke up sore and dehydrated from competing the night before in the Final of the 3000m Steeplechase at the US Olympic Track & Field Trials in Eugene, Oregon. I'd finished 10th, well out of the top-three finish I'd needed to make the team, and thus now began my self-imposed retirement from the sport. It had been a long four years since 2004, when I won the Steeplechase at the Olympic Trials in Sacramento, but made no trip to Athens on the US Team, as the Steeplechase was not an Olympic event for women until 2008. For those four years, I'd trained with the purpose of making the team so that 2004 didn't matter anymore; so that there was no longer a "but the event wasn't in the Olympics for women yet" after the phrase "I won the Olympic Trials and set an American Record."
But it was not meant to be apparently. And I'd told myself that no matter what happened in the summer of 2008, I would retire once the season had ended for me. There had been too many sacrifices and disappointments and not enough rewards during those four years to continue. At some point, you have to say "uncle" and move on to your next chapter.
On July 4, 2008, my best friend Anne Shadle and I went to the Hayward Field track as the fireworks were being set off and did a photo shoot for what ended up being nothing, as the article intended to go along with the photos was never written...mainly because there was no happy ending of making the team. But nonetheless, we had our day to get done up in our uniforms and in street clothes and get our picture taken by professionals who were good at making us look good. Then we went to the pub on Villard Street on the edge of campus to meet up with all of our friends that were partying it up. We had fun but inside were both pretty sad at how our seasons, and possibly careers, had ended. Both of us had thought things would go much differently, much better. Our successes in earlier years had teased us--me with the Trials championship and American Record, Anne with her two national championships in the indoor mile and outdoor 1500m. At the time, we'd thought everything was just going to keep getting better.
When everything kept getting worse instead, it felt like we were failures. The one thing we revolved our lives around didn't work out. The one thing we were known for ended in disappointment. It stole our will to fight, our hope, our positive outlook. Or maybe we gave those things away. Either way, we felt worthless.
Fast forward.
On July 4, 2009, I woke up at 6:30am to my 6-week-old daughter stirring and starting to cry. I picked her up and changed her diaper and then went out to the couch to nurse her. When she was done, I held her on my chest and patted her back until she fell back asleep. I put her down next to me and stared at her beautiful face for a few moments before opening my laptop to work on a couple of projects for some clients. Jason woke up a few hours later and went to his practice. I switched my attention back and forth between Jaelyn and my computer until he returned.
Then I was free to go for my run. I'd started this pregnancy out relieved that I had a reason to let go a bit. I had never really given myself a break from running since I started when I was 12. And I was to the point where I was really sick of it. But now, I had the perfect excuse to ease up! Running wasn't an assignment anymore. And I didn't have to run for 8, 10, 12 miles. 3 or 4 was sufficient! As time went on, I wasn't able to run at all without pain, so I started working out on the elliptical, giving my body a complete break from impact.
I think it was March when I finally missed running. And I don't mean missing the way it makes you look and keeps you fit, but missing the way it makes you feel. I would wait until it was dark to walk to the fitness room and get on the elliptical because if I were to make the trek during the day, the fact that it was beautiful and sunny outside and I couldn't run would make me sad.
So I signed up for the Chicago Marathon. My sister and her girlfriend and my friend who lives in Chicago had already signed up, so I knew I'd have people to run it with. And though I knew it would cut it a little close, giving me about 16 weeks to get in shape after having the baby, I was hungry for a goal again and hungry for Saturdays to mean a long run again.
So yesterday I went for my first long run of my post-baby marathon training. I was so eager to get running again after having Jaelyn that I started 3 1/2 weeks after she was born. Luckily the incision from my C-section had healed quickly and didn't cause me any pain. But yesterday was my first run longer than 3 miles. And boy did it make me appreciate the athlete I was on July 4, 2008.
On July 4, 2008, I hadn't made the Olympic Team but I could run repeats of 400's in under 70 seconds all day, run 6 miles straight at 5:30 pace, go for a morning run of 4 miles and then go to the track for a grueling workout later in the day, run a long run of 12-15 miles without any pain or much fatigue, and I could do it at an "easy pace" of 7 - 7 1/2 minutes per mile.
On July 4, 2009, I could barely finish 5 miles averaging 8:30 per mile. It sounds depressing but it's not. Rather, it makes me proud of who I was a year ago instead of disappointed and embarrassed like I was at the time. It also makes me proud that I'm getting back on the horse and allowing myself to gradually get back in shape instead of expecting to have superwoman powers and being upset when I realize I don't.
I guess having a baby puts life into perspective a bit. I appreciate the little things more, like walking our baby down to the beach for the fireworks show last night, watching an exciting track meet on TV in the comfort of my living room, gradually fitting back into pre-pregnancy clothes, and having time to write this blog post.
And Anne? She's starting a masters (and possibly PhD) program in sports psychology at the University of Missouri, is head-over-heels in love with a great man, and never gets tired of her best friend sending her pictures of her baby girl.
Gotta go, the baby's waking up...
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- Filed Under:
- Marathon, Running, Track & Field, Sports, SportsPLUS, Family/Parenting, Inspiration
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