Helping your athlete with time management

posted by Game On! Sports Camp 4 Girls
Monday, March 7, 2011 at 3:28pm EST

Game On!Sports Girl Talk is designed to become a trusted resource for parents relating to a broad range of information on sports and fitness for girls ranging in age from 4 to 14. Discussion will focus on topics and issues covering general sports, specific sports, fitness, nutrition, medicine, injury prevention, stress, peer groups, and more. We hope to help our readers to stay informed, feel educated, and maybe even derive some comfort from the information and discussion.

Does your daughter’s typical day look something like this?

SCHOOL – SPORTS – BED SCHOOL-SPORTS-BED SCHOOL-SPORTS-BED

Oh yes, with meals and maybe a birthday party squeezed in at times between.

If so, do you worry about finding the time to teach them responsibility, life skills that will shape their character?

Of course, but by necessity, your athlete must tackle the issue of time management.

Good time management to many equates to achieving balance. In my experience, however, while balance may sound good and serves as a great goal, it is hardly the end result. Rather our athletes are learning to prioritize and sacrifice, hopeful of staying healthy and happy. They simply cannot balance it all.

So how can parents help to teach and guide toward smart time management? Here are a few tips based on experience and personal observation:

1) Parents must lay down some laws – For example, school/homework always came first in our home. Let them know the priorities so they can work within YOUR boundaries. No doubt, this is a lesson in values.

2) At the same time, parents need to cut these athletes a bit of slack. I for one always harbored dreams of having my kids complete regular chores ranging from washing dishes and helping with their laundry (of course modified by age) to garbage can duty and room/house cleaning responsibilities. I even hoped they would travel with me to the bank to deposit their own gift money as an additional lesson in responsibility. Yet, I realized very quickly that their schedules simply would not permit. Something had to give. In fact, quite a bit had to give. By the time 4th grade rolled around, they were doing so little by way of domestic chores it was scary. Yet I continued to remind them that I was helping them out because of their commitment and hard work when it came to school and their respective sports schedules. But they did what they could when they could. (They are both in college now and I am happy to report that while not perfect, they are doing just fine without parental intervention and seem to have the life skills and sense of responsibility parents hope for.)

3) Visual is helpful – have a family calendar (whether virtual or paper, make it visible) where each of your kids has their own color and everyone logs in their major commitments. When parents participate, it helps lend credibility and importance to the process.

4) Help them learn from their mistakes. Appointments and deadlines are bound to be missed. Use these as a learning experience as opposed to a reason to punish. If they are trying hard and care, use these as teachable moments and reason to talk. Some of my most valuable conversations were based around their mistakes.

Of course, each athlete will present her own unique set of circumstances. From the perspective of the parent, it is a matter of finding the right balance between these three choices: executing for them, guiding them, and demanding independence from them. With the above tips in mind, you should find the mix that works for you, your athlete, and your family.

As an aside, while working to instill a sense of good time management, it is also important to emphasize and maintain these critical areas of support:

Emotional – Make sure you empathize. It’s never a bad idea to relate a story of your own that conveys your ability to understand the sacrifices, the hard times, and the good times. You can also remind them of instances to date where their attention to good time management has resulted in reward.

Verbal/Communication – Make sure you are there to talk over and above the times when they need you. This means occasionally starting a conversation or asking questions to keep the lines open and flowing.

Personal – Be there in person as much as possible not just in lip service. There is no substitute for mom and dad and while as parents we cannot be there 100% of the time (especially for working parents), do the best you can to make supporting your athlete a top priority as you manage your own time.

As always, I look forward to your feedback and discussion about your personal experiences.

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There are 2 comments on this post. Join the discussion!

katetscott says:

Great, great stuff. If my parents hadn't forced me into a schedule and been there to hold me when everything fell apart (which was at least once every two months for a teenager) I wouldn't have been able to accomplish half the things I wanted to in the classroom or on the field. And I think the "personal" support was probably the most important. I still vividly remember feeling completely overwhelmed with everything I needed to do (homework, leadership activities, etc.) but as soon as I saw my mom in the stands before a tennis match, it all disappeared. Her presence alone told me we would make it through, together.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 at 1:24pm EST

GameOnSportGirl says:

Thanks for your feedback Kate. I wrote this blog from the perspective of a parent, coach and provider of sports opportunities for young girls. But I have to say that I too was an athlete growing up (and hope that I still earn that description many years later) and could not agree with you more.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011 at 1:47pm EST

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Helping your athlete with time management

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