I've learned that every person deals with adversity differently. The evolutionary instincts of fight-flight-freeze really are the basics of our human responses. I grew up as one prone to freeze, and I have always been fascinated by those prone to fight.
As my life began to unravel back in June, I knew that roller derby would be there for me. As the movies and books and sayings go, "Take it out on the track!" The problem is that I'm not really a fighter. In fact, this has been the biggest hurdle for me to overcome in my newly adopted sport. I can take a hit, avoid a hit, and positionally block, but when it comes to really hitting another player I have a long way to go.

All of this is to say that when push came to shove (sorry for that one), I decided to take a leave of absence from my league to try to gather my senses, as opposed to throwing myself more fully into derby. Staying away from the women I have come to adore, especially when it is not due to a physical injury, has been difficult and confusing. It has also been the right choice. My ability to skate was being hampered by my inability to focus. My balance was worse than usual. I couldn't follow instructions. I was overly sensitive to my mistakes. Basically, I felt like I was getting worse instead of better, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

Now that I am planning a cross-country road trip, I am finally beginning to feel excitement at the idea of putting on my gear again, meeting rollergirls I've never met before, learning new techniques, seeing new places. I'm leaving my future open. My plans are open. I'm looking forward, without expectation.

I spent hours last night looking at maps of this country, plotting potential stops from here to Oregon. The funny part is that I have made a tentative plan that does not cross the Northern Plains! Instead, I plan to meander my way across the Midwest, spend a lot of time in the Southwest, then hit San Diego and drive the California coast up to Oregon. There won't be derby in every place I land, especially along the cliffs of California, but I think I'll find my fair share along the way and many other things to experience and enjoy.

So, my derby sisters across the nation, here's what I'm thinking. I don't know the dates yet, but I'm hoping to meet some skaters from Hard Knox Roller Girls in Knoxville, TN and spend some time in St. Louis, MO with the Arch Rival Roller Girls. I've never been to either of these cities. I have family in Wichita, KS and I'm dying to introduce them to the ICT Roller Girls.

I may never leave Denver with all the friends, derby girls (Rocky Mountain Rollergirls), family, and whoever else I want to see while I'm there. Maybe a day trip up to Boulder? Who knows. Then the kindness of the derby network has me hooked up through Santa Fe and Albuquerque with Duke City Derby. After that, I hope to meet up with some ladies from Tucson Roller Derby, another city I've never experienced.

I won't even get into the California section of this adventure. That would take a whole separate post!

I'm about three weeks away from take-off. I hope you'll be with me virtually as I roll into my future. I welcome comments, suggestions, and all the derby lurv I can acquire! (Private messages can be sent to me through the link in the top left-hand corner of this blog.) Somehow I'll get there from here.

Tuk
("She tuk which route to Oregon?!?")

View Original Post at robinlbernstein.blogspot.com

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• Skating, Roller Derby, Sports, SportsPLUS, Inspiration, Personal