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The politics of girls’ hockey (this must be said)

posted by Total Female Hockey Club
Saturday, February 6, 2010 at 9:12am PST

Kim McCullough, Director & Founder of Total Female Hockey, has trained, coached and consulted with over 1500 players and 300 coaches, from novice to National teams, on how to take their on-ice performance to the next level through off-ice player development.

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We’ve started the playoffs here in Ontario, which means that tryouts for next year’s teams are just around the corner. And that means that the “politics” of girls’ hockey are about to wreak havoc on all of us.

The mixture of playoffs and impending tryouts takes everyone’s stresslevels through the roof. We’re all worried that we might make the wrong choice, that what people are telling us is not the truth, and that we won’t end up with the team we’d hoped for. As strange as it may seem, we’re all in the same boat as players, parents and coaches.

I will be coaching Midget AA in Toronto next season, and ever since I made the decision, I’ve been in the rinks every night watching games, making sure that I know exactly what kind of player I’m looking for once tryouts start. I want to create the best possible environment for our player’s and team to succeed next season and my co-coach and I are putting in a lot of work to ensure that this is the reality.

After all, we don’t want to make a mistake either. We know we are going to have make tough decisions. We will have to cut players who just don’t fit as pieces in our team puzzle. I know that it’s not just about reducing numbers, it’s about making decisions that short-circuit the dreams of players. I know I don’t take making decisions like that lightly.

As coaches, we often have to cut good players because we feel there was another player that was better for a particular role or position on the team. To be honest, we don’t necessarily want all the best players, but we definitely want to have the 17 players that make up the best team.

Putting together a team is a game of numbers, of roles, of need and of responsibilities. When someone doesn’t make it, they initially feel hurt or even angry. There is no getting around the emptiness, rejection and even embarrassment. That’s understandable. But it’s what you do next that defines you as an athlete and player. Do you use that as a source of motivation to drive you to become good enough to be on that team? Or do you make excuses and point fingers that bring other players down?

As tough as it is as a coach to make cuts, it’s a lot tougher on the player and her parents. What isn’t constructive is making excuses for your child by saying it was a political decision or that the coach made the wrong decision (which might even be the case). If you make excuses, you are only teaching
your daughter to deflect responsibility and discount the abilities of others.

I can assure you that as coaches, we are trying to get it right. It’s just plain hard to try to figure out the best combination of players. If there are 17 players on a team, odds are the practically every coach would agree on the top 8 or 9 players for the team. And most coaches will agree on the next 4 or 5 that should be on the team. But picking those last 4 or 5 players to fill out the roster is tough and more often than not the coaches’ don’t all agree. That’s when our job is the hardest and that’s when feelings get hurt.

So as we head deeper into playoff season and the harsh reality of tryouts looms over everyone’s heads, I wanted to share 8 motivational sayings that help keep me on track for success both on and off the ice. I hope that they inspire you as we head into the hardest part of the year.

1. Focus on what you can control.

2. Live your life like most people do and you’re going to settle for what most people get. If you want more, you have to do more.

3. ‘Trying’ isn’t enough. It’s an excuse. Either you’re doing something or you’re not.

4. You never fail until you quit, make excuses or die.

5. Plan every day. Success isn’t an accident.

6. Focus on getting 1% better each day. Small improvements add up.

7. Failure is part of the process. Accept it. Learn from it. Move on.

8. If you’re waiting for circumstances to be different (or perfect) – you’re in for a long wait. Stop waiting and start doing.

Keep Working Hard and Dreaming BIG.

Your friend and coach,

~ Coach Kim

View Original Post at totalfemalehockeyclub.com

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There is 1 comment on this post. Join the discussion!

Good work, Coach Kim. I always tell people that some of the best lessons I learned occured when I was cut from teams throughout my youth. Being told you aren't good enough isn't the problem, it's KNOWING you aren't good enough and trying to accept failure at that age. It's an amazing experience and stayed with me. I am grateful for the coaches who told me the truth instead of making that extra space on the bench for me. I don't have any "and then I became an incredible hockey player" type ending. The only thing i do have is the desire to keep competing hard to this day knowing that failure may be just ahead. The players you cut will gain more from this than you know.

Saturday, February 6, 2010 at 1:38pm PST

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