Wow, so my training cycle is over with and I am about to enter into my last season as a UWL Eagle. I have a lot of mixed emotions right now about this upcoming season. As I race tomorrow, I'm starting to feel the anxiety of racing coming back to me. I kind of feel like racing is a boyfriend I should dump. haha! He gives me so much trouble but for some reason there is still something there. Yes, bad analogy (and for anyone actually in a real relationship like this, I would suggest you just pack up and leave right now!!!!, my relationship with running is a bit different).


I was thinking about how I could hate something that I love so much and wondered if this is how it is going to feel forever? I look at those people who LOVE racing, can't wait to get out there, are pumped days before, and I wonder how I could ever begin to feel like that. haahaa! I just think it would be the coolest feeling in the world. The one time I felt a slight bit of that was at Nationals, that was perfect timing. :) Of course, I do get excited a few days before, then the reality that I am going to have to go out there and prove something (to myself and others) sets in and from then on there is this lingering anxiety that clouds my days. Sounds like fun huh?! I think this year, I am going to start a new approach to racing, so that I can get over this feeling. Of course, I realize that it is going to take practice, but unless I want to feel this way forever or dump my annoying "boyfriend" (racing that is, not W.K!), I'm going to have to get rid of that little feeling that kind of makes me wish I wasn't a track runner the day before I'm set to race.


I wonder if I am the only person out there that has this semi-hatred for racing?? If any of my readers have advice or stories about this please share! It would be great to hear about times when you were scared outta your socks or how you manage to keep your anxiety low before races.


The great thing about my mind and legs, I must have to say (and remind myself!) is that they know what they are doing...they always do. Every time I take the first step as the gun goes off I reassure myself that I am capable of doing what I came there to do (it's just before hand that I guess I'm not so sure! haahaa!).


Even though it seems as though this nervousness is not worth it, after my race, when I feel great to be done, I really do feel elated and happy with what I just accomplished even if it wasn't my best performance. Going out there and doing something that half the world would never even attempt does seem pretty cool when you think about it.


These are just my random, nervous thoughts going into my race tomorrow. I might add that I am the only one racing in the steeple tomorrow... all eyes on me for those 10 plus minutes I guess. This should be the very time that I am not nervous (I'll keep reminding my brain of that lol!) cause I'm pretty sure I'll leave with the "W", and that will be pretty cool ;D. haahaa!


Post your thoughts, I would love to hear them!!!

View Original Post at stephaniemp911.blogspot.com

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• Running, Track & Field, Psychology

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