On Monday, a judge dismissed charges of simple assault and resisting arrest against Jeff Reed, kicker for the Pittsburgh Steelers. The arrest occurred when Steelers tight end Matt Spaeth was peeing in the parking lot at Heinz field.

(I know. Same old story, right? It seems like every time an NFL player gets in trouble, Matt Spaeth peeing is right in the center of it. I’m pretty sure that’s why Plaxico shot himself in the leg. Unofficially. It’s my own theory. I’ll let you know how it pans out.)

When officers went to cite Spaeth for whatever one is cited with for peeing publicly, officers say Reed took it upon himself to get involved and defend Spaeth. I don’t hold this against Reed. I, too, fight for my and my friends’ rights to pee publicly. “FREEEEEEEDOOOOOM!” This isn’t England, King George. This is ‘Merica. We pee where we stand and we can’t stand no more or something. It’s in the Constitution. Look it up. Jeff knows our rights. In fact, Jeff is probably even short for “Jefferson.” (He totally should have used that in his defense. I should have been his lawyer.)

Reed was ordered back to his vehicle by officers, but being passionate in his cause to let the people govern their own urination and determined to defend his friend and teammate, Reed allegedly raised his fists at officers, likely in an attempt to scare them into submission when faced with the possibility of having to endure the thunderous blows from the ominous … kicker. (I’ll bet they were super frightened. It may have sounded like a giggle, but it was pure fear. Make no mistake about it.)

Reed declined to comment on the incident, but his attorney offered this: “It hurts him that there are people out there that might think that he squared up and wanted to fight cops, or actually fought cops. That’s not Jeff Reed.”

I buy it. I mean, in all fairness, he’s a kicker. Let’s not blow this out of proportion. If anything, it was kind of cute like when your nephew puts on those big inflatable boxing gloves and punches you in the knee. I almost want to pat him on the head and read him a story.

The dismissed charges were the most serious of the total four he faced, the judge deciding to postpone the decision on whether or not Reed will be held over for trial for public drunkenness and disorderly conduct. Reed was ordered to perform 40 hours of community service, which if he serves, the judge will consider dropping the remaining charges.

<img class="size-thumbnail wp-image-2341" src="http://www.draftdaysuit.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/1jeffreed-150x150.jpg" alt="Here's Jeff out on the town performing his patented double peace sign, otherwise known as "The I'm such a douche."" width="150" height="150" />

Here's Jeff out on the town performing his patented double peace sign, otherwise known as the "I'm such a douche."

This is not the first time Reed has been involved in post-game, bathroom-related antics. The first incident also being last year when he mercilessly attacked a convenience store bathroom paper towel dispenser a few weeks after the Super Bowl. Reed was ordered to pay $543 restitution, in addition to attending bathroom related anger management courses and sensitivity training. (I made that last part up. Except for having to pay the $543 for attacking a paper towel machine. That’s 100% true. You’re right to fear them.)

I think the moral of this story is clear: This is simply another case of a spoiled athlete thinking he can get away with anything because of what he can do with a ball. Even though he’s just a kicker. Will someone tell him that rule doesn’t apply to him? Sheez. And the other thing we learn, perhaps the most important thing: paper towels are out to get to you. Both lessons are important, but one will save your life. Good luck.

[Source]

[Photo]

~Mayopie

View Original Post at draftdaysuit.com

• Filed Under:  
• Football, Sports, NFL

• Tags:
• Uncategorized
• Football