Last year I got a lovely email from a woman who, after greeting me politely and complimenting The Glowing Edge, mysteriously indicated that we might have some things in common. Intrigued, I clicked through and discovered Binnie Klein, a psychotherapist in New Haven, Connecticut, a Lecturer in the Department of Psychiatry at Yale University, host of a popular weekly music and interview show on WPKN radio, and… you guessed it, a boxing woman.

And since she was looking for even more things to accomplish, she’s just written a book about it.

Her book has just been published and my copy has arrived in the mail; expect a review from me (plus a chance to win a free copy of the book!) as soon as I’ve read it. Meanwhile, she and her publisher gave me permission to share this excerpt with you.

* * *

My coach John, a former middleweight state champ (aka “The Punisher”) was acutely aware that the men in the lives of his women boxers were not always supportive. Maybe that’s why he often asked what my gentle and peace-loving husband Scott thought about my boxing. Scott wasn’t the only one who was perplexed. It’s not like I was Maggie Fitzgerald in Million Dollar Baby; I wasn’t battling for recognition, and no one was standing in my way. People looked startled when they heard I was boxing. “You?” they’d say. Why are you so shocked? I wanted to ask, Is it because I’m older? Because I’m not trim and fit? Because I’m a woman? Somehow the aggression or intensity required to hit was understandable coming from a man. But with a woman, it was an anomaly. Why on earth would a woman want to punch? Or be hit?

Or was it something else altogether that people were thinking?

Maybe they don’t think my profession fits with the sport. You’re a therapist, they scold, as if reminding me that in choosing my career I was to be denied the physical plane altogether, a brain suspended in a tank like in a 1950s science fiction movie.

You’re not supposed to be aggressive, right? Aren’t you supposed to have it all analyzed and sublimated?

Yeah, right. There’s nothing like donning boxing gloves and headgear to make you face your own competitiveness, rage, and desire for dominance. My inclinations were shocking.

People ask me – do your patients know? Some do because I’ve referred them for boxing lessons to help them feel their own physical power and competence. Therapists fall into two groups: those who pretend that their patients know nothing personal about them, and struggle to keep it that way. They won’t give opinions, and they won’t tell you where they’re going on vacation. You’ve already guessed which group I’m in. The mystery therapists may be perfectly helpful therapists; they just don’t roll that way. But there are the inevitable clues emanating from their faces and their walls, whether their humor is direct, sardonic, or missing altogether; whether their offices are adorned with Klee prints and tasteful soapstone sculptures or a just a dusty row of crookedly-hung diplomas; whether they are outfitted in blazers and chinos or Flax clothing and chunky jewelry, and whether the car sitting in the therapist’s space is a Prius with a “Think Globally, Act Locally” sticker or a brand-new Saab with a ski rack.

Boxing is a bit like being part of a sexual minority – we take pleasure in something many people don’t understand, and feel compelled to judge us for – but sometimes when I talk about boxing, a surprising amount of people, both women and men, begin to imagine themselves with boxing gloves on. I recognize the look. Their innocent eyes widen. They start talking about how they did five minutes of kick-boxing in an aerobics class once. They’re intrigued…and then they’re curious…and then, in almost a whisper:

“So where did you say you do this?”

This excerpt was adapted from “Blows to the Head: How Boxing Changed My Mind” published by Suny Press, January 2010.

Related posts:

1. Women’s Boxing to be Included in 2012 Olympics
2. New Rule: If they tee off on you, you can take their head off
3. Afghan Women to Train for Olympic Boxing

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• Boxing, Sports, Media, Books