The Morning After...One Weekend, One Triathlon, And One Euphoric Step

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The morning after….I am tired and drained. But euphoric. I haven’t washed off my numbers yet and have hung my medal next to my desk. I passed my one-year, self-imposed check-up. Not with flying colors, but I passed.

The level of support I received at the race was amazing. Being a principal of the Xxtra Mile, the owner of the Danskin Series, I can hear myself espousing our mantra – women helping women; giving women an opportunity to challenge themselves; an opportunity to undertake an activity in a safe, female-centric environment, where finishing trumps winning. And when we say it, we mean it. Sunday morning, I experienced it.

I had a hard time keeping it together at the starting line. Staying off to myself, I walked through the race in my head. (This is in addition to the three times I did the race in my sleep the night before!) I waited until the last possible minute to enter the corral. The emotional buildup was a little overwhelming.

A number of the women in my swim wave recognized me from the Expo on Saturday, where I shared my journey and goal during one of Sally Edward’s talks.

One very sweetly and simply said, “You are going to do great.” That is all it took. I just lost it. She immediately enveloped me in her arms and told me to take my time, and stay calm, and that I would be fine.” As my wave entered the water, Maggie Sullivan, my partner in the Xxtra Mile, Ardis Bow, the Swim Angels coordinator, and Sally Edwards, Chief Inspiration Officer, were waiting for me. Forget about the ‘three people you meet in heaven’ -- I am incredibly blessed to have these three women in my life here on earth! They have more positive energy…and it was directed at me.

My swim did not go so well. I walked into the water for as long as I could, allowing virtually the entire wave to be in front of me. I am still very physically protective of my chest, and I knew that if I got kicked, my day would be over. So I waited, and then I walked, and then I started to swim. I couldn’t keep my heart rate within any limit that I had set as acceptable. When it was too high, or I couldn’t get my breathing to work, I would flip over on my back and rest. Each time I went into rest mode, one of the water safety team would yell “GREEN CAP, YOU OKAY”….. I knew they were yelling to me, as most of the Green caps were well ahead of me, and red and blue caps were overtaking me – and I was most likely the only swimmer adopting the beached whale pose!

I honestly thought, ‘no, I am so not okay’…. I wanted nothing more than to just hang on to a kayak for a bit and rest and get myself composed. But there was no way I was doing that. I was exhausted, but so what. I wasn’t afraid of dying of exhaustion. I kept my focus on the buoys. I was in the water for twenty-seven minutes, one of the slowest swim times, and I was tired.

When I came out of the water, Maggie was right there at the shoreline, cheering me on. I know that there was a collective sense of relief once I was out of the water. Maggie had texted my husband in Moscow to let him know that I had gone into the water….she again texted him and let him know that I was out, and that I was doing okay. I didn’t ask her to do that…..I didn’t think to ask, I was so caught up with myself. But this was a shared journey.

The bike segment was lovely. It was brilliantly sunny and wonderfully cool. Trek Women, the official bike sponsor of the Danskin, set me up with a beauty of a ride – a Cronus from the Gary Fisher Collection. I train on a hybrid (a cross between a mountain bike and a road bike, aka, ‘heavy’). The Cronus was light and nimble, and fast! (Not that I was fast, mind you; just that the bike had the potential to be fast….) I laughed to myself, though, thinking of the image that I presented. I had this fabulous bike, but I was an obvious fraud! I was riding with flat pedals because I have never learned to ride with clips! (It’s on the list!)

Anyone who has ever done a bike race knows that the phrase “passing on your left” has a totally different psychological impact depending upon whether you are saying it or hearing it! I said it a lot more than I heard it. I was making up lost time! I did the bike in just over 47 minutes, averaging 12.4 mph. I was in the top half of the pack on the bike. I knew at that point, in the second transition, that I would finish. Did I ever think I wouldn’t finish? I guess it was out there. I just kept it out there.

I enjoyed the run. I had a slow, steady pace. But I wasn’t running for the clock. I was focused on managing my heart rate. By that point in the morning, the sun was hot and so was I. I stopped at each water station to drink, collect myself, and continue on.

The banter on the run is fabulously unique. Not a woman passed another runner without words of encouragement. So yes, at my pace, I got a lot of words of encouragement! All very welcomed.

With about a quarter mile to go, Sally came out on the course to meet me. She told me not to talk, that she would talk. She checked my heart rate, which was climbing. We slowed down. With the finish line in sight, Sally gave the word for the final kick. And we took off. I didn’t look at my HR monitor, I just ran. I even passed a few women.

I crossed the finish line at 1:58. Not my best time ever, but I finished.

I was more emotional than I would have liked, but I couldn’t help it. Creigh, our announcer, told the crowd who I was and what I had just done. They erupted with cheers. My team from the Xxtra Mile met me in the shoot. It was a moment.

It was their moment as much as mine. They had gotten a call a year ago, the week before the 2010 Disney event, and all our lives were put in stark relief. I spent the last year rebuilding – my health, my strength, my confidence – and they spent the last year supporting and encouraging me. It was a collective sigh. We could all move on.

This was just one weekend out of what I hope will be many more weekends over a wonderfully full life. And to think or say that one event or one weekend could cure all of the world’s ills, is disingenuous and simplistic. But for this one woman, mother, wife, friend -- it did a world of good.

For the athlete that sucked water in the swim, insulted a sweet ride and dogged it on the run -- its history, its over, its done. Onward to the Danskin Triathlon at Sandy Hook in September. I have a time to beat!

Margie

For more information about the Danskin Triathlon Series, the Trek Women Triathlon Series or the Xxtra Mile visit http://www.xxtramile.com.

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