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I was playing some social club tennis today and came home to immediately blog about my experience. I have played at this particular tennis club since I was 14 years old. I am a 4.5 singles player and 5.0 doubles player and for non-tennis aficionados all you need to know is that I'm better than a lot of people but a lot of people are also better than me. I exist in the no-mans land of athletics where we athletes were never good enough to make a career from our chosen sport but also find recreational competition, shall we say, not so competitive. I'm sure many of you know what I'm talking about. Anyways, this post is not about my tennis skill or lack thereof; however, being a skilled female athlete does provide the entry point into today's gender rant. Not unlike my previous post, "She plays with us: A personal commentary on co-ed hockey", I found myself boiling inside today at some of the backhanded comments I received or heard.

Senario #1: On a change of ends my mixed doubles partner at the time (chosen at random, I had never met this man before) made the comment that "It's really hard switching back and forth between a man's serve and a ladies serve", to which, naturally I raised an eyebrow. The woman playing on the other team said "Oh is there a difference?" (I'm not sure if it's nice that there are still innocent people out there or that it's sad that this woman had no idea he was insulting her). My partner then replied "Well ya, because I can wail away when I serve to him, but I can't do that when I serve to the ladies." Funny, because I tend to change my play depending on skill level and not gender. Ever notice how men serve as hard as they can at each other as if the speed of their serve is some how correlated with the size of their genitals? However, whenever I play against men I seem to get the "man serve" aimed at me so really what is occurring is this - women are automatically deemed inferior athletes unless proven otherwise, and male athletes are automatically assumed competent athletes unless proven otherwise. I find this quite amusing because the women tennis players I know are individually and collectively quite a bit better than the male tennis players I know.
Lizel Huber and Jamie Murray play mixed doubles at
Wimbledon. Photo from The Telegraph.
Senario #2: After the social tennis was over one male club member introduced me to his wife with the comment "This is Courtney, she is one of the better female players at the club." Now, I'm pretty sure his wife had two working eyes and despite the fact that I commonly wear a baseball cap I know that I am recognizable as a female. Therefore, his qualifying comment that I am one of the better "female" players at the club is meant to signal that although I am a good player there are men that are better than me. Would he, I wonder, have introduced a male player to his wife as "Frank, one of the better male players at the club" or as "Frank, one of the best players at the club"? I'm pretty sure I know the answer and I think you do too.

What I heard today reminded me of a TED talk given by Tony Porter, which I encourage everyone, ESPECIALLY men to watch. Porter recounts a situation where he asked a 12 year old male football player how he would feel if in front of all his teammates his coach told him he was "playing like a girl". Porter expected the boy to tell him something like he would be mad/angry/sad etc. but this young boy told him that "it would destroy me", which made Porter reflect - "if it would destroy him to be called a girl, then what are we then teaching him about girls?" As Porter continues to explain in his talk, the collective socialization of men, whereby women are always viewed as inferior is the foundation upon which ALL violence (rape, harassment etc.) against women is built (not news to many of you, I know). So as 'trivial' as these comments and situations may seem, and I will give the benefit of the doubt to the men mentioned in the above scenarios that no ill will was intended, it is precisely that kind of "man" thinking that can lead to (and reproduce) the collective subjugation of women.

"Playing like a girl" or doing whatever like a girl (you can also insert like a gay man here) is the worst insult a male can get, whereas "playing like a man/guy" is the HIGHEST form of compliment a woman can get. Worse than being a person with a disability, a 'poor' person, an unintelligent person or just a bad person, is to be a woman (and by no means do I use those examples as lesser states of human-ness but we must admit that they are predominantly markers of less "value" in our society). Well, unless you truly believe that your mother/wife/sister/daughter is less human than you as a man, you had better change your tune. So men, next time you think you are giving us a compliment or are "doing us a favour" please understand that your words and actions are far more significant than you think.

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There are 2 comments on this post. Join the discussion!

JoanneCooper says:

"Playing like a girl" or doing whatever like a girl (you can also insert like a gay man here) is the worst insult a male can get, whereas "playing like a man/guy" is the HIGHEST form of compliment a woman can get. Worse than being a person with a disability, a 'poor' person, an unintelligent person or just a bad person, is to be a woman (and by no means do I use those examples as lesser states of human-ness but we must admit that they are predominantly markers of less "value" in our society).

Saturday, August 27, 2011 at 9:25am EDT

KateLegg says:

a person with a disability, a 'poor' person, an unintelligent person or just a bad person, is to be a woman (and by no means do I use those examples as lesser states of human-ness but we must admit that they are predominantly markers of less "value" in our society).

Saturday, August 27, 2011 at 11:05am EDT

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