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Jealousy can be so distracting. Jealousy can also disguise itself. It seems that there is no way around it, especially in competitive fields, like sports. Many want to be the best. Many want to be that leader that will get all the glory. Problem is, that job isn’t for everyone, but everyone thinks they can do the job better than the next.

I read this post written by Coach Dawn titled “Four steps to creating bold leaders and followers”. It really stuck out to me and as I reflected on my time being part of a high school and collegiate team it became evident that her advice is so valuable! She describes a leader as someone who is brave; someone who can take the positive with the negative, but beyond that, who is “easy to follow”. I think most of us underestimate how hard of a job being a leader is and what kind of qualities it really takes to be all those things. Everyone is different so obviously you are never going to please everyone, but being able to lead a majority is no piece of cake. I only know a few who fit this definition of a leader and who carry it out successfully (and I’m jealous of them… okay I haddddd to say it ). It is hard to find a person who can keep the goal of the group in mind while also growing individually; someone who can stand up for what they believe and can take the hate. The other interesting part of Coach Dawns post was that followers are underestimated. The leader doesn’t do it all. When I think about coaches, athletic directors, captains, successful athletes I think about all the people they have on their team helping them to be the “leader”. Those followers hold weight, but they don’t get much of the glory.

Maybe that’s where this jealousy comes from…

We instill in our kids from a young age that they should strive to be the leader, but we don’t really focus on them being followers, which is something that we all have to learn. Most of us, for a majority of our lives, are followers, and despite this we are never taught out to be a good one. We are taught how to take direction from coaches, teachers, parents (people of authority), but not much about how to take it from our peers. I mean, we are competitors so of course this would be hard to do! I assume that it is like this on all kinds of teams, that of men and women, of sport and not sport, but it’s disappointing! What’s disappointing to me is the way that we treat one another because we want to be the leader so badly, or are jealous of the glory that the leaders we follow get. We forget that they also have to deal with a lot of not so fun things. That’s human nature for ya! I know, especially when it comes to athletics, I was victim to jealous thoughts… I was jealous of people who seemed to have it all, success on and off the track. It’s obnoxious for the thinker and the receiver and if we don’t use the jealousy in a good way it’s bad for everybody involved.

This is the bad and the ugly of it all. Jealousy within a team just makes the group fight against each other instead of striving for the purpose or goal. Unfortunately, I have no way of fixing this problem. Right now I don’t have any suggestions either… hm.. I’ll try to think of something, in the mean time I will ponder this semi-unsolvable problem.

But of course, I left the good for the end (yay, happy ending!). Although jealousy can lead to hurt feelings, drama, play mind games that have no place in athletics, and pretty much just suck ass, it might also spark people to challenge themselves. Is there a different word for positive jealousy? If not, there should be! If we can identify the feelings that disguise themselves as something different (ie. gossip, being mean, bullying) and act on it in a positive way it might turn out to work in everybody’s favor, possibly giving us the ability to step up from follower to leader, be better at our sport/job, and therefore, a better teammate.

Keep in touch… I know I haven’t been posting regularly, but I have about 3 other posts started I just need to do some tweeking, but they won’t disappoint.

Feel the passion.

Use the passion.

~Stephanie

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