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It has taken me quite a while, but I have finally finished Jane Fonda’s autobiography, “My Life So Far”. It was a roller coaster for me as a reader. At first I was in awe of this woman’s life. She was doing everything that I had hoped to do; I want to make a difference like she has. Then I became sympathetic of her body dysmorphic tendencies and pressures from society to fit into this mold of ideal woman and wife. I then wanted to shake her, wake her up, and tell her to stop dating and marrying all these losers! Finally, it came full circle and I realized that she had learned so much from her life and still seeks to learn mor. She is an analyzer (like me) which I believe is beneficial in personal growth. Although she is strong, she is also weak. She is like every other woman out there, she struggled with finding the balance, finding her voice, and being true to herself.

My favorite quote from this book is at the very end of this book as she is recollecting her life and happy about the place that she finally arrived at. She said:

“Have you noticed how we are presented with the same lessons, over and over and over, before a tipping point is reached? The lessons we need to learn circle around us, closing in, until finally we are ready to take them in. Take them in. Those are the words that matter, because until I had embodied the lessons I was supposed to learn, absorbed them into the warp and woof of my being, they didn’t “take”; they remained a head trip and didn’t lead to changes in my behavior.”

Shit, that’s some good stuff. I do feel that way! There are a few people out there that get it right on the first shot, then there are those people who have to go through it several times (Jane), and then there are those that maybe need a little reminder (me). Jane focuses on personal growth, which I believe is so important for girls and women. She talks about not being afraid to be alone. It is important to like yourself enough to be able to be alone, but surrounding yourself with someone who encourages your personal growth is equally as important. This is something that Jane struggled to understand and I believe many women from this era did. It was the beginning of feminism, they wanted their freedom but they were also used to seeing women be the perfect wife. How confusing. I believe this is still confusing to women..you can see from the young marriage, the young pregnancy, and the careers women still choose.

Katherine Hepburn said something like: Women choose their men, it isn’t the other way around. This couldn’t be more true in the case of Jane. In my opinion, her choice of men succccked! It was evident that Jane conformed herself to the men she was with. She was involved in civil rights when she was with one guy, anti-Vietnam when she was with another, human population when she was with yet another and sprinkled in between was a bit of feminism (although it took her a while to finally admit that she was one) and girls pregnancy prevention. Although she made a difference she was not focused on what really mattered to her until she found herself at the ripe age of 60. If Katherine is right, we need to start teaching our girls how to pick a little better!

This book has encouraged me even more to express my thoughts and speak up about what I believe in. Towards the end of the book, after ending her relationship with Ted, she went back to watch all of her films to see when her voice dropped, when she could tell that her voice was strong. She could see when she started to find herself through her voice. A voice is a powerful thing. It can change the minds of the people around you, or at least get them thinking.

I’m grateful that she wrote the book and that my friend sent this to me as a gift. It really was a gift! Although this book focuses more on self realization and relationships with men, what I kept coming back to was sports. She was so active in what she believed in at the time, it is something to emulate. In many of my posts I discuss whether or not you should say something and risk being called a bitch or humorless or keep it inside and let it slide. Jane dealt with this is regard to society and the causes that she stood up for, but mostly with the men in her life. I don’t have a problem expressing myself to Willy (he would attest to that!! lol) but there is that questioning on the grander stage-society. After reading this book, however, it is even more evident to me that having a strong voice, a voice that is heard, is very important for women and we should not silence it. Jane covered hers too long when it came to men. Too often we fear being too much, not being feminine enough, or being wrong. How many people do you know who have been wrong? Um.. a lot. It’s okay to mess up, it’ll be good practice when you have to apologize (a talent that can get you far).

As I write about this all I think about it the local paper in La Crosse, Wisconsin, the La Crosse Tribune. There were two articles published recently that rubbed me the wrong way. The first, was about an acquaintance and male teammate of mine who came from the bottom of the team and is now ranked 2nd in the country. Sound similar to any other story you’ve heard? And the second, was about UW-La Crosse receiving the 2012 NCAA National Championships, an exciting thing for all of Wisconsin.

I liked the guy that they wrote about in the first article so I said nothing to the author. I figured the guy was nice, he didn’t ask for them to write about him, and it was great that they honored him. However, I kept thinking about how the media passes by the women in sport who have similar amazing situations. I came from a “no-body” and ended up a national champion. They didn’t blink. A woman on my team, Kailey, just broke our school record….she is BLAZIN’. They didn’t blink again. Another woman on my team a few years ago was an average runner but after hard work, skyrocketed to the top of the nationals list in the 5k. She was unable to compete in a the nationals that was hers for the taking when she got psnemonia, collapsed and had to recover from this illness. She came the next year and be number two on the team. No blink, yet again. I remember when we were going to Nationals in cross country (2010) and the newspaper (the La Crosse Tribune) and the local news stations came to the field house to talk to all of those athletes going to Nationals. Wait, they weren’t there to talk to all of the athletes, just the men. They came, and walked right past us. I was going to go over to say something to the camera men but they had already left. I got the newspaper guy to jot some notes about us, barely a mention. The next morning, livid, I saw a camera guy walking into the filed house when all of us women were standing by the bus. I stopped him and said “Hey! Did you know that we are going to national too? Don’t you want to interview us?”. He was s-h-o-c-k-e-d. I made him interview us. It was never played. Guess who came home with the All-American? THE WOMEN’S TEAM, not the mens. No blink.

I decided when I read the most recent article that announced UWL as the host to the 2012 national meet that I was going to write to this author. All I saw on the pages of the article was the name of the men’s head coach, Josh Bucholtz…everywhere. They gave him credit for bringing nationals to our stadium and I wanted to burst!!! Pat Healy, the women’s coach, had a part in that too! Why don’t you mention that?! I asked the author if he even went to talk to Coach Healy. I’m guessing he didn’t. I wrote to let him know that the article was disappointing to read and urged him to take notice that the women’s team is there. We’re kicking, we’re kicking butt!

I recently was able to talk to my coach, Coach Healy, at the Drake Relays. I asked him if he was a feminist. Without hesitation he said he was. How fucking cool is that?! He explained that he was a feminist even before he started coaching women. It was the time, in the 70’s, when feminism was getting more attention and he took notice. Some day I will do an interview with him. He’s life, his experience on and off the track, seem to be something that people need to hear about. He always understood where I was coming from when it came to the media ignoring the the women’s team. He understood the inequality of collegiate sports for women. I feel lucky to have had a male coach that felt that way, not all do!

I hope that you take the time to read this book. I’m sure it will help you will find your voice, or make your voice louder. Whatever it is that you find important and fulfilling, go and do it. One thing that Jane didn’t want to do is to regret anything. She realized this when she was in her 60’s. She was going to make a conscious effort in life to never create another regret. There is always going to be questioning, but ACTING is something we should never question. Thanks Jane for your thoughts and for you life. Through your mistakes other learn. That’s why people talk, thank Goddes for words.

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