Yeardley Love and Abusive Relationships

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For the past few weeks the media has covered every aspect of Yeardley Love's untimely death. And, I've searched for why this case struck such a deep cord within me. Is it because it involves college athletes? Athletes who grew up in the same state I did, one in the same county I'm from? Is it because this story is so tragically out of the norm, leaving us wondering how it could have been prevented and how the families and team members of UVA's lacrosse teams, friends of both victim and accused murderer, will cope in the upcoming days, months and years.

I've read several viewpoints on this topic while shaking my head at many of the theories - male athletes think they are entitled, lacrosse is a rich, spoiled kid's sport, the accused came from a priviledged background, shouldn't someone have known and reported this to the coaches and other people at UVA?

Having played college sports at 2 different schools and working with athletes of all levels, I firmly believe sports has absolutely nothing to do with this case. Nor do I think George Huguely's wealthy background is relevant. In fact, I think all of these things are irrelevant or hogwash except for the domestic violence aspect. And I can assure you, few college kids are thinking about getting help because they think their friend is being verbally or physically abused. In fact, this case made me think of specific incidences in college, one of my good friends was raped when she was drunk and we never reported it, though we urged her to get help. And I vividly remember a drunk guy who followed me home from a party circling our parking lot and pounding on our (thankfully locked) front door. I remember being very scared but we didn't call the police. Nope, my roommate called the  baseball players downstairs who got rid of the guy and I never thought about it after that day. So what's my take home point here? It's time to teach our kids about domestic violence and unhealthy relationships.

It has always amazed me that we can learn history, physics and calculus in high school and college but we learn little about life skills (parenting, finances, buying a home, careers, relationships). It's time for schools to teach both our young men and women what a healthy relationship should look like and about unhealthy ones (Steve McNair's untimely death comes to mind), when to report behavior to the authorities and that it is indeed okay for men to cry and show their emotions. Why did Yeardley Love have to die? There's no concrete answer to this question and even after the court case, the only person that can probably answer it is George Huguely himself.

From the stories, it's apparent Yeardley Love touched many people's lives and she'll continue to do so even after her passing. My heart goes out to both families. For those who want to donate, Love's alma mater Notre Dame Preparatory School hopes to create a Memorial Field in her honor. 

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• Lacrosse
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• Student-Athlete

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