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You know what happened in the NFL this week? The Rams won their third of the season after winning just three games in the two prior seasons combined. And in St Louis, it was a damn near riot in the streets. Because when you’re .500 six games into the season, you cut loose in the Gateway City. It ain’t no “Greatest Show on Turf”, but everyone needs to believe in something.

This Week’s Heroes

• Kevin Kolb (PHI, QB) Michael who? Kolb was 23 of 29 for 326 yards and three touchdowns as the Eagles beat the Falcons. He’ll probably play again Sunday against the Titans, and the healing Vick might have to earn his spot back if Kolb has another game like this.

• Ben Roethlisberger (PIT, QB) As much as I hate giving this dude any attention after his “misconduct” he did have a hell of a return game, throwing for 249 yards and three touchdowns as the Steelers beat the Browns. I can’t wait until he gets booed on the road.

• Arian Foster (HOU, RB) Foster’s total yardage wasn’t spectacular (just under 100 total yards), but he did pull down two touchdowns as Houston beat Kansas City. He’s averaging 105 yards and a touchdown per game.

This Week’s Zeros

• Pretty much the entire San Diego offense The Chargers lost to the aforementioned Rams, an upset of note even outside of St Louis. Philip Rivers threw for 249 yards, but only one touchdown and an interception and was sacked seven times. Antonio Gates and Malcolm Floyd both left the game with injuries. Christ, even the kicker, Nate Kaeding slipped and injured his groin in a field goal attempt blocked by the Rams.

• Michael Turner (ATL, RB) Sunday’s loss to the Eagles was the third game in a row in which Turner hasn’t scored, and he’s only scored one touchdown all season. If you don’t drop him, you should at least move him to your bench.

• Brett Favre (MIN, QB) Oh, Brett. This is why you can’t have penis-photo sexting scams during the season: you throw for just one touchdown and 118 yards. I don’t really have a lot to say; we all know he’s a douche. I just wanted to remind you. And reference Favre’s wiener.

This Week’s Surprises

• Dwayne Bowe (KC, WR) Bowe caught six passes for 108 yards and two touchdowns in his best game of the season in a Chiefs loss to Houston. After a mediocre start to the season, his performance was a welcome one for fantasy owners.

• Denario Alexander (STL, WR) Alexander was called up from the Rams’ practice squad just last week, and in his NFL debut had four catches for 74 yards and one touchdown. Take a chance on this dude if he’s available in your league; he should be fun to watch at home games since he’s a Mizzou alum.
• Jeremy Maclin (PHI, WR) Speaking of former Tigers, Maclin had a career-high 159 receiving yards with two touchdowns, one for 83 yards, after DeSean Jackson got knocked the fuck out with a concussion. Jackson will miss next week’s game against the Titans, so keep Maclin active.

The White Russians were 1-1 this week, bringing my season records to 5-1 and 3-3, which as you know, in St Louis, is grounds for celebration.

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