The NHL All-Star Game: What could possibly go wrong?

posted by Draft Day Suit
Friday, November 12, 2010 at 1:02am EST

A (usually) humorous look at sports written by popular parent bloggers and some of their friends.

Oh, this is going to be hilarious.

The NHL All-Star Game has, like all professional all-star games, gotten predictably tedious. It’s a weekend off for most of the NHL except about 10 percent of the players, the fan favourites who schlep to whatever designated city to perform like trained seals in a Skills competition and play a gentle, overscoring, not particularly exciting game while the fans sit in their $250 seats drinking their $20 beer.

Well, maybe that was a little harsh. I don’t think seals could actually wear skates, first of all. And the beer is usually priced for no more than $12.

Anyway. The NHL has decided to shake things up. Instead of having the fans vote for the players in the Eastern and Western conferences and facing off that way, they’ve changed the entire format of team selection around.

It’s now known as the “NHL All-Star Fantasy Draft”. And seriously, you can’t make this shit up.

The fans will still vote for their top goaltender, two defencemen and three forwards. The “NHL Hockey Operations Department” (also known as “the guys you do/don’t want to piss off, depending on whether you want a weekend off in January”) will nominate another 36 players to participate. The players will vote for two Captains per team, then the Captains will take turns choosing their team from the remaining 38 players. The Captains then have to stuff six rookies, also handpicked by the NHL Hockey Operations department for their good looks er, burgeoning talent, on to their team to complete the roster.

Seriously. Can’t you just see it? It’s everyone’s worst gym class nightmare. Poor Sean Avery will be standing there in his smelly gear getting increasingly mortified, wishing the earth would swallow him up as the more “popular” players (you know, the ones with the latest skateboard or jewelled cellphone) get picked one by one ahead of him until finally, he stands by himself and the Captain who lost the coin toss sighs in resignation and says, “guess I get the sloppy seconds.”

"Geez guys, this is getting embarrassing."

I mean, this could definitely be fun. Given the various differences between the two conferences and the fact that NHL teams play teams within their conferences most frequently, mixing up the teams will provide more interest and intrigue instead of just regional loyalties. And potentially having Dany Heatley and any Ottawa Senator on the same team again will provide for serious yuks.

But if it fails and turns into a huge flop, and it very well could, the NHL could have massive egg on their face for screwing with the tried-and-true formula. Bettman’s used to fan derision, though, so that probably makes it worth the risk in his mind.

Whether it works or not, all I ask is one thing:

God, I hope the draft is televised.

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The NHL All-Star Game: What could possibly go wrong?

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