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Favre and Jets sued by massage therapists

posted by Draft Day Suit
Wednesday, January 5, 2011 at 8:49pm EST

A (usually) humorous look at sports written by popular parent bloggers and some of their friends.

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Brett Favre and the Jets are being sued by two former massage therapists who claim they lost their part-time jobs with the Jets due to complaints they made when skeevy Brett Favre was in hot pursuit. And if you remember correctly, turning Brett down might as well be an invitation for him to start sending you pictures of his little Viking.

But the story goes a little deeper than Brett’s inability to keep his weenis in check, and that’s why the Jets are being included. According to the lawsuit, plaintiffs Cristina Scavo and Shannon O’Toole claim they lost their jobs after lodging complaints about suggestive text messages from Favre. In one case it reached the point where one of the husbands contacted Favre to demand an apology, and for Favre to end his pursuit. According to that guy, Favre blew him off. Shocker.

When news of this first leaked, the Jets’ massage coordinator, Lisa Ripi, sent a series of e-mails to Scavo expressing her disappointment on how it was handled.

“There are ways to handle things in a professional manner and ways to be compensated not in public … All this nonsense is unnecessary,” Ripi stated in one e-mail, “For sure feel horrible that u had to go thru that w a pervert … He was wrong on all counts … and we cldve helped u a lot more at that time.”

Don’t worry, Lisa. I’m no lawyer, but I think your e-mails will more than make up for how little help you were then.

It was also reported that Ripi told O’Toole to “keep your mouth shut” and that neither of them would work for the team again. I mean, you would think these woman would know by now that they’re nothing but the personal play things and toys of the players, and when one of them gets out of line, you extort him privately. Duh.

The source of this sound legal advice, Lisa Ripi, is also an accomplished acupuncturist who spends most of her waking hours sticking needles into 40 different football players from five different teams. Ripi says she works 96 hours per week and gets most of her sleep on airplanes. She adds that the players even argue amongst themselves about ”hogging” her services:

“They always tell me I’m their little secret. I feel like the little mouse who takes the thorns out of their feet.”

I guess in Brett’s case, the thorns are about five feet tall and have vaginas.

To me, the problem is much larger than Brett Favre. It’s the well-oiled machine that’s in place to ensure men like Brett get what they want, when they want it. That when this happens to you, this is just how it is and you keep your mouth shut. That way, it can continue to happen forever. Awesome.

The ease with which these women were swept aside by an entire organization because some asshole wanted to get his helmet shined makes me sick to my stomach, and I’m glad to see him go down in flames. His accomplishments with a ball mean nothing to me, and I think his legacy is a small price to pay for the misery he’s caused. Assuming, of course, he’s guilty. Uh huh.

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