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Sports Illustrated 3D Swimsuit Issue is only good for one thing

posted by Draft Day Suit
Monday, January 10, 2011 at 6:47pm EST

A (usually) humorous look at sports written by popular parent bloggers and some of their friends.

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The other day I was listening to the news on the radio and the reporter began talking about the new 3D video of the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

As a woman I’ve always found the swimsuit issue a little off-putting. I mean, I understand that it is a big seller. I get that the designers of this “swimwear” probably pay huge money to be featured. But let’s be honest, none of these bathing suits are fit to race in. Hell, I’m not even sure you can get them all wet. I like Sports Illustrated because I like sports. If wanted to see scantily clad women I would pick up a Victoria’s Secret catalog or look on the internet. But I am a big girl. Once a year I can roll my eyes when the mail comes, look through the thing, be filled with self-loathing and develop a new and improved eating disorder.

But not my point!

I got to thinking about this 3D video. Why would you need (or want) a three-dimensional video of the shooting of the swimsuit issue? So I made a list.

1) masturbation

2) (Thinking. Thinking. Wait. Still thinking.)

There is no number two.

The only possible reason to want a 3D version of the Swimsuit Issue is to get off.

I hope you are proud, Sports Illustrated.

Now, just to be clear – I have no problem with pornography. AS LONG AS YOU MAN UP AND CALL IT WHAT IT IS. Let porn be porn. I propose Sports Illustrated (who already have SI Kids, SI.com, and Sports Illustrated Almanac) launch Sports Illustrated Porn. You can have high-rent, naked models and we can stop pretending it has anything to do with sports.

Plus they could make a killing! Just have the credit card statement say Sports Illustrated and the 3D swimsuit DVD can be your subscription gift. Easy peasy.

We can stop pretending that this is about swimwear or sports.

A naked model and a tire pretending to advertise swimwear.

Let’s call a spade a spade.

The 30 minute 3D video of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue is high end soft core pornography.

And at $ 7.99 it is a pretty good deal.

* * *

Goon Squad Sarah is probably just still mad that the Buccaneers didn’t make the playoffs.

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There are 5 comments on this post. Join the discussion!

anngaff says:

*snicker* spot on Sarah!

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 6:53pm EST

GLBryan says:

LOL! Preach it sista!

Monday, January 10, 2011 at 7:29pm EST

robm says:

Lol.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011 at 11:24am EST

yostk321 says:

It's so innnapropriate, any woman or man, athlete or not posing innappropriately and immorally.

Friday, January 14, 2011 at 3:45pm EST

Resident_Badass says:

Here Here! Well said. And what the heck is she doing with that inner tube????

Thursday, June 28, 2012 at 10:36pm EDT

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