Why it sucks to be a girl playing sports

posted by Draft Day Suit
Friday, March 11, 2011 at 6:22pm EST

A (usually) humorous look at sports written by popular parent bloggers and some of their friends.

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Men have everything easier.

The above statement is not a precursor to a tirade of men being dumb, and women being the superior vaginawarriors of the species. I make the above statement because it is true.

I make the above statement because I used to play softball, when I was younger and I had an experience which, frankly, never would have happened to a boy in a similar position.

I was a suckfest of a softball player, so I was relegated to the right field. I could catch fly balls. That was the totality of my softball prowess. I could snag a fly ball out of mid air, no problem. Once I got it in my glove though, my pitiful, spaghetti arm allowed me to throw it about 12 feet. That is why my coach stuck me behind our rock star infielder, Jessie, who literally could play the shit out of every infield position and hit and throw and do it all while running backwards and putting on mascara.

U.S. Women's Softball Team, Beijing Olympics, 2008. Minus Jessie.

So one game, Jessie was pitching, playing all three bases and shortstop. All of the hits were pitiful little bunts which never had a prayer of making it into fly ball, Christine range. It was hot and I had had a lot of Gatorade.

I was bored and I really, really had to pee. That squatting position you have to get into when a batter gets ready to bat? Not helpful. I started to do the dance of the urinata as Jessie played the entire game herself. But then, then…a fly ball came into the outfield. I uncrouched, popped up and ran to grab it.

Then I pissed myself in the outfield.

So you see, kids? It sucks to be a girl in sports, not because of the lack of funding, advertising or fan interest. It sucks to be a girl in sports because men can whip it out and piss in the outfield. Girls, well, we can’t.

Just one more tally on the ever-growing list of why men have it so much easier.

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There is 1 comment on this post. Join the discussion!

Trkgal08 says:

And don't forget the dreaded stories of wearing white pants on the basketball court and having your period! Totally happened right here. Coach couldn't call a time out fast enough and spend half-time washing my pants and using the blow dryer to get back into the game.

Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 10:02am EST

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Why it sucks to be a girl playing sports

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