Mental Toughness: Beyond the L's and W's

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I’ve been an athlete my entire life: four sports in high school and a collegiate volleyball player, then semi-pro beach and indoor volleyball before I got into boxing.While training in the ring I was approached about football.But my perspective isn’t just through the eyes of an athlete; it’s also through the eyes of a varsity coach, through the eyes of a teammate, through the eyes of a mentor.I’ve coached a boys’ varsity sport for five seasons, and a girls’ varsity sport for three. Throughout my career in organized sports and as a child growing up playing with the other neighborhood kids until the street light came on, I have had many losing seasons, and many winning seasons.I’ve played on teams with a variety of dynamics, diverse athletes, and extreme personalities.There’s no nice way of saying it: losing stinks. But when are we really losing, and what do we do after that L gets placed in the column?

We, as athletes and coaches, really need to evaluate, to self-evaluate our performance not by the L’s and W’s column, but by how we compare against our past, by how we performed game to game and challenge to challenge.It’s unfortunate that so many coaching jobs are decided based on that L’s and W’s column and statistically what a “winning season” is. That final column tells an inaccurate tale of a team. Anyone can read the statistics and still have no idea how well a team played.Winning and losing isn’t decided that way though.True winning and losing is decided based on how mentally and physically an athlete or coach approaches their individual and team crucibles: changing from what didn’t work before, new approaches, asking questions, self-evaluating, communicating, and examining our mental toughness.

Mental toughness is what I call that ‘it’ we can’t put our fingers on but we know some athletes have it and some don’t.It’s success within us regardless of the score or circumstances. It is what is inside ourselves that we need to measure. As an athlete it can drive us crazy at times.All too often we judge ourselves and measure who we are as a person by how we perform in our sport, good games or bad games. Being an athlete is only a part of us, and although forever with us; we do not and should not be measuring our whole self by the part of us we are in our sport. Sport exemplifies and allows us to test many parts of ourselves. Sport gives insight; it allows us to reflect on who we are to develop into better people.

Mental toughness is a big factor in whether or not we end up with an L or a W in that final column.More importantly mental toughness just becomes about who we are as people through the athlete part of us and how we contribute to our team. It is hanging in with our team and persisting regardless of what kind of game we have personally.It’s making those changes to go for the win and not giving up on each other.And it’s not quitting on the field of play, not quitting on our coaches, teammates, and ourselves.

The fact of the matter is that having that L in the final column stinks, be it an excruciatingly close game or an embarrassing blowout.Whether we are the athlete or the coach, whether the L or even the W is in the final column, we are still held to a higher accountability level if we are honest with ourselves.Therefore, we must dig deep and self-evaluate to get better at the positives and to change the negatives.If the way we were battling wasn’t working, then it must change.Complaining, blaming, and arguing will not make us better and it cannot change that final column. Mental toughness can.

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