Enjoy Some Good Ol' HATE MAIL!

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I just sent this email to the Guardian Sports desk.  I doubt very much that anyone will ever read it; that I will ever get a reply or that their practices will change.  Hence the silly tone - might as well have some fun whilst you're failing to get someone's attention.  But not trying to change these things makes me just as bad as the people who perpetuate the lazy, one-sided coverage.  So I will continue to shout with my tiny feminine voice (for anyone who knows me, they will understand this HILARIOUS JOKE as I have the voice of Moira Stuart doing an impression of Batman) into the wilderness of the p*triarchy.  And if anyone from the Guardian does find it, and write back, I would appreciate a serious reply as to why you don't cover women's sports, rather than your inevitable attempt to be clever-clever. 

"Hello DEAREST Guardian Sport.

Clearly, you are struggling with some basic issues/ are stuck all the way up Bradley Wiggins/Gareth Bale's bum, so I thought I would get in touch to lend a helping hand re. your coverage of women's sport.

I am titling this essay: "Lo, not a single article on women in today's Guardian Sport: Lo, we are not surprised."

I am writing it in the style of a "feminist rant", because all my previous contacts have gone entirely ignored.  It will be read in the voice of the person who does all the speaking on Masterchef, in the tones of a buttery nymph lady.  As expected of a feminist work, there will be some inexplicable, hippy-drippy accompanying artistic installations.  In the corner, Greta will be burning all her bras.  In the reception area of the exhibition, Laura will be writing 'my daddy ignores me' in lipstick, all over her sad, naked body.

We begin:

-- writing navel-gazing smuggo articles about the subordination of women in practically every walk of life does not count as advancing towards equality of women.  Nor does the same count as coverage of women's sport.  We don't want your help.  We don't want you to write about women needing this, or needing that.  Stop discussing how downtrodden we are!  Just go to the bloody matches, attend the races and the tournaments and write about them.  We want what is rightfully ours.  50% of the coverage.  It's pretty simple.  As far as I'm concerned, if you have the budget to pay Tim Lott to write relentlessly stupefying drivel about living with lots of women, you have the budget to cover women's sports properly.  And that stupefying drivel thing is something my father agrees with. He has FOUR daughters, and doesn't think that living with five women is particularly taxing to his manliness.

-- OK, so what if you want to help women? Well, stop treating them like they're special and start treating them as you would a man.  Patting yourself on the back and telling yourself that you've got women covered every time you write something on how unfair it is for the women merely reinforces the narrative that women's sports go hand-in-hand with failure, low incomes and low interest levels.  Stop going for the easy feature pieces and get stuck into regular, fulsome coverage.  I whisper this in your ear:  surely it's easier to just write about women doing their jobs as if they were ordinary human beings than to continue finding new, ever more tortured ways to write that same article you write every week? The one about how there "aren't enough women in [insert profession other than nursing]".  But normalising women in professions might lead to them thinking that they have a right to be politicians, economists, scientists and footballers.  And then we'd all be in troubs.

-- as a major newspaper, you have a MORAL responsibility to provide balanced coverage.  You are FAILING.  BLOCK CAPITALS BROUGHT ON BY WOMB-RAGE.

-- as a media outlet, you shape the views of your readers.  Right now, a reader of your newspaper would struggle to believe that women ever play sport -  or that every time they do, they're consumed with some kind of melancholy about the 'state' of women's sport in comparison to the men.  Contrary to popular belief, they just want to get on with what they do, and receive the coverage they deserve … oh yes, I'm saying it again and you can't stop me! ... 50%.

-- whilst there has been a slight improvement in coverage of women's sport in your paper (since the convenient lovebombing of women's sport that was the Olympics), it remains sparse, repetitive and articles often segue into a piece on men's sport, or the competitor's male 'counterpart'.  Either that, or you run a feature.  You very rarely produce day-to-day coverage of women's events.  Unacceptable.

-- not covering women's sports due to perceived levels of interest is a circular argument.  Fewer women participate in sport because of a historical lack of opportunity.  There are very few women sports writers, editors or broadcasters.  Thus, little of women's sport over the years has received coverage.  But this is the 21st Century, and we know now that women playing sport and the subsequent coverage of that sport will not end the human race by causing a mass rise in lesbianism.  Cover the sports consistently and people will become interested in them.  Fail to cover them, and you are complicit in continued sexism.  If women are happy to read about men's sport in your section, then IMAGINE how willing they would be to read about women's sport.  You'll have no idea until you try.

-- Think there aren't enough journalists willing to cover women's sport?  I do it, and I already have two jobs.  So think again.  Pay someone actual money to do it.

I doubt very much that I will get a reply to this email.  You're all too busy being witty on liveblogs.  So I will say this.

YOU ARE ALL POO POO POO.

[NB. Seven more "poos" were sent in the email, but the wordpress formatting couldn't handle the big red writing...]

And I actually typed that, and didn't copy and paste it.

Just so you know, I will keep sending you these emails until you do your job properly.

Also I have nothing against Wiggo or Gareth Bale, they were merely props to my womb-fury.

Ciao scumbags.

Felicity Hawksley"

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