USATF Cross Country: Bringing up the Rear

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Well, I have done it again. Last year on this very day, I swore that I would not get talked into running another cross country race, but here I am, sweaty and exhausted, sitting down at my computer to recap the 2009 Southern California USATF Cross Country Championships.

I began running in September of 2008. Truthfully, I always flirted with the idea of being a runner. As a competitive swimmer, we used running as cross-training on occasion, and on those cold early mornings with my toes on the edge of a swimming pool that I was sure would be freezing enough to make me scream, I just wanted to lace up a pair of shoes and run far, far away. However, I always made that chilly plunge (typically once my coach pushed me in), and my running shoes sat in my swim bag, collecting more mold than mileage.

As I retired from swimming following my senior year of college at the University of Nebraska back in 2003, I took five good years to be a “normal” person who doesn’t attend six hours of practice per day and who could sleep in past 4:45am. I felt like a lazy bum during those years, but I think that my body truly needed rest and time off. I started competitive athletics (gymnastics, then swimming) at the age of nine, and didn’t really come up for a breath until my 22^nd birthday.

Things changed during the summer of 2008 after I returned to my hometown of Eugene, Oregon to watch my college friends Ann Gaffigan (my roommate in the dorms back in 2000) and Anne Shadle, compete in the Track and Field Olympic Trials at Hayward Field. The intensely competitive atmosphere of that incredible event made me realize that the desire to train for something was not dead inside of me. I have no delusions about my place in the sport of distance running. I know that by beginning at the age of 27, I will never be a factor in competitive events or set anything other than personal records, but I get a strange satisfaction out of kicking my own butt into shape on the track week after week.

This brings me to Track Club Los Angeles (TCLA), where I have been training every Tuesday night with a group of adults who, like myself, aren’t willing to hang up their shoes just because college is over. Through TCLA, my coach, Eric Barron, encouraged me to run (notice that I did not use the word “compete”) at the Southern California USATF Cross Country Championships in both 2008 and 2009.

Last year, I was so new to the sport that I readily joined USATF and showed up to the race expecting a field like any other road race where I could blend into the masses. However, the field was made up of roughly 20 women whom had nearly all competed in the sport of cross country for their colleges, however long ago that may have been.

That day, it was 96 degrees at the start of the race and the air was filled with smoke from the seemingly annual Los Angeles fires. Never having to deal with overheating in a swimming race, the sun has become my kryptonite as a runner. Regardless of the shape that I am in, when I get too hot, I am simply done. So as I turned various shades of red while running the 6K race last November, the only thought that crossed my mind was, “I wonder if anyone would notice if I hid behind that tree and just quit.” Needless to say, my 2008 XC experience left me almost in tears as I crossed the finish line dizzy, dehydrated, and dead last.

I came up with a million excuses as to why I would not be running this race again in 2009. I had been injured over the spring and summer, the hills weren’t good for my still recovering hip, the weather would probably be scorching, blah, blah, blah. Truthfully, I just didn’t want to get last place and realize, yet again, that I am still very much a novice in this new sport that I have come to love.

Six days before this year’s race, I finally decided, with the encouragement (a nice word for “pressure”) from my TCLA teammates and coach that I would suck up my pride and represent my club again. After all, I would be the 5^th girl, and we needed five to score. I spent the days between my decision to run and the race by obsessing over the weather forecast, pleading with friends on Facebook to come and run as well, and contemplating a sudden and fictitious bout of the dreaded swine flu.

Race day was upon me, and the weather, although sunny, was not unbearably hot. As the much faster runners around me were lacing up their spikes in preparation for the race, I readjusted the laces on my own regular running shoes to look cool and legitimate and cracked jokes with my teammate, Ginna Ladd, who was about as uncomfortable with the whole situation as I was (it should be noted that she just ran 3:03 at the Chicago Marathon and had no reason to feel out of place). I warned Ginna about the fast pace that the women took out in last year’s race and we agreed to stay controlled despite our nerves.

As I approached the starting line, I took a deep breath and told myself, “Just forget about getting last, who cares? Close your eyes, let them run away from you at the start, and concentrate on being tougher and faster than you were last year.” As it turns out, running my own race works much better for me than focusing on the widening gap between the lead pack and myself. As I was running the three-loop course, I finally realized that getting last place is not the worst thing in the world, but lacking the courage to step up to the line or the determination not to finish what you have started just might be.

I crossed the finish line of the hilly 6K four minutes faster than I did last year, accepted my 17^th place medal (there were only 18 runners, which need not be mentioned in further retellings of this story), and put on my flip-flops because my feet still think that running is torture and consistently punish me with impressively large blisters. As my times begin to drop and my weekly mileage continues to increase, I am reminded that although this sport is difficult and requires amounts of stamina that I’ve never tapped into before, I do love distance running, even if it is from the back of the pack.

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• Cross Country
• Running
• Sports
• Inspiration

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There are 2 comments on this post. Join the discussion!

anngaff says:

You rock, roommate. Wish I could have been there...wait, no I don't, I would have been just as nervous as you! But at least we would have done it together. Can't wait to run in the Santa Monica mountains again :)

Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 12:51am EST

JeffCaronNBB says:

This a great write up, Laura! Congratulations on your race and your progression. You have a very admirable outlook on this sport I'm sure you'll be an inspiration for many!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009 at 6:54pm EST

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