Guest post by Ken Krause, Life in the Fastpitch Lane blog

You see it at any softball park: the dynamics between fathers and the softball playing daughters. While it mostly applies to coaches, it probably really extends to any father who is involved at any level in his daughter's playing career.

This is something I have first-hand knowledge of. I coached two daughters through their softball careers. They were far enough apart in age that when one finished I was able to start with the second.

Each experience was different, yet there were also some similarities. First, understand that I was probably more into the game than either of them. In fact, they don't get why I have continued to coach once their careers were over, but have more or less come to accept it.

What that meant, though, was that I would often want to talk about a particular game, or the team, or a technique or skill and they wouldn't. It could be frustrating on both sides.

Yet when it came down to it, both were actually happy that their father coached them. It's a complex dynamic to be sure, and more than a little difficult to explain unless you've experienced it.

For the daughters, there are two basic effects of having Dad as the coach. Either you get all the privileges — automatic entry onto the All Star team, favored spot in the batting order, play the position you want, etc. — or you get screwed.

In the latter scenario, you end up sitting out a little more because it's easier to sit you out than someone else's kid, or you're held to a higher standard of conduct that anyone else on the team, or you receive no special favors — even though all the other kids on the team seem to get them. About the best you can hope for is first choice of uniform numbers. And oh yeah, it seems like you always wind up carrying equipment while the others scatter after a tournament.

Still, there is something special about sharing that experience. Fathers who coach their daughters have something to talk about. They're in the team pictures together. More importantly, they share the triumphs, the heartaches of close losses, and memories that last a lifetime.

For many of us who have coached our daughters, it's hard to imagine NOT doing it. I am always surprised when a team or league has difficulty finding a parent willing to do it. It never occurred to me not to do it.

No doubt some are intimidated by the prospect because they feel unqualified. But more probably just don't know where to start. Which is interesting, especially at the younger ages, because how much do you really need to know? You can learn on the job. You just have to know a little more than your players. And stay ahead of them!

While it wasn't always easy for my daughters, I do know from talking to them that they never wanted to play summer ball for anyone else. The times we shared were special — even when I was ranting in the car after some horrible loss. My hope is if they learned nothing else from me, they learned to approach whatever they do with passion. Because if you can't be passionate about it, and you don't absolutely have to do it, you probably shouldn't do it.

So let's hear it for all those dads who spend their days at hot, dusty ballparks instead of on the golf course or on their boat or at their summer homes. Let's applaud those guys who pass on the opportunity for a promotion by leaving work on time instead of working extra hours so they can run a practice or coach a game. They may never become rich or famous, but they've definitely affected lives. Not just of their own daughters, either, but the daughters of many people.

Anyway, that's the way I see it.

Ken Krause

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View Original Post at softballperformance.com

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