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By Katie Culver

Given the frenzy surrounding The Royal Wedding and future Princess Kate Middleton-Windsor (we feminists can only hope for the hyphenated name), it seems prudent to consider the implications of “princess mania.”

To mothers of 4-year-old girls (I am one of those), the term needs no explanation. To those needing a definition, it describes the overwhelming popularity of princess culture that bombarded our nation long before the Royal Engagement.

Now, I have thus far resisted, refusing to buy princess gear (as if it’s a sport!) or let my daughter watch Disney princess movies (am I so cruel?).

So while the airwaves will be filled with Brits parsing The Royal Wedding, I offer an alternative go-to source: Peggy Orenstein’s recent book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter. In it, she explains our society’s problematic obsession with princesses, particularly those with Disney lineage. She substantiates my hesitance to soak my daughter in “girly-girl culture.”

What did I learn from Orenstein that will get me through all the princess talk?

· Disney Princesses are not harmless. In fact, when you consider the dominant characteristics, it’s plain scary: Sure they have beautifully made-up faces, impractical and sparkly gowns and tiaras, but they are also friend-less, mother-less, and non-action-oriented individuals waiting to be saved by a prince (and pining for marriage). They are victims unable to escape cruel step-mothers, and spend their time tidying up and looking after others. Ariel of The Little Mermaid even gave up her voice (!!) to be with the Prince of her dreams (I didn’t know this before Orenstein pointed it out).

· The emphasis on appearance – the central feature of Princess gear — sends a powerful message: How you look is more important than what you do (or think, for that matter). The princess phenomenon establishes a dangerous path focused on image, pleasing others, and finding the right man to seal a happy ending.

· Yes, many (especially moms) defend their daughter’s obsession with all things princess by describing an unstoppable drive. You hear that, “She is so into princesses, it’s all she wants to play,” that “everything has to be princess (or PINK).” Is this nature? Is it destined? NO! It’s a $4 billion Disney enterprise supported by sales and marketing of more than 26,000 Disney Princess items on the market. As Orenstein puts it, “…it’s a little hard to say where ‘want’ ends and ‘coercion’ begins.” One Grandmother told me that if she wants her granddaughter to like her gift, it has to do with princesses. Have grown-ups lost their ability to think for themselves?

· Part of the “princess problem” – if I may call it that – is what the scripted play with princess dolls, books, movies, music, furniture, light fixtures, etc., excludes: opportunities to be the hero of their own stories and to develop non-princess skills of athleticism. After all, princesses rarely run, jump, climb on the swing-set, kick a ball, or ride a bike.

I, for one, wish Kate Middleton all the best, and hope maybe she can transform the future of princesses—with a career, strong mind and seemingly subdued nature (o.k., she’s gorgeous too, but what can you do?). However, I am nearly dreading the Royal Wedding (and poor Kate—what a spectacle the event has become!). Middleton’s dress color is a well-kept secret (ivory? champagne? lilac?). Let’s just hope it’s not pink!

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There is 1 comment on this post. Join the discussion!

MarQFPR says:

A couple of great things about Kate brings to being a princess that no others have. She is the first princess to have a degree, which is extraordinary in itself.

Second is an interesting fact. Middleton was apart of an all-female rowing team that's goal was to go across the English Channel. She had to drop out due to Royal pressure (there was some negative press), but the team raised over $200,000 for children's charities.

Kate does play sports, and being an independent and common woman I think will change people's perceptions of what is it to be royalty. I don't think that it's bad that women want to be princesses, but a little girl should learn not to wait for her prince, and carve out a life for herself. A lot of the animated princess films out there have been jumping on the bandwagon - having them be more independent princess characters that can do well on their own.

Times are starting to change, and it's important to show little girls that you can be beautiful and independent and not have to chose.

Friday, April 29, 2011 at 10:55pm EDT

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