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I travel A LOT. Sometimes I forget how much I travel versus the average human being, and how my knowledge of airports.. and airport security.. is probably far more more advanced than your average joe. Which is why I was so annoyed at myself this past weekend for making such a rookie mistake.

I was in line to go through airport security and had a choice between three lines to stand in. I did a quick survey of the people standing in line... yes, this is where stereotypes play a role -- people with kids, the elderly, and those folks who obviously don't know what they're doing and come dressed with belt buckles the size of texas, all the jewelry they own, and $7.53 in change in their pockets should be spotted immediately and avoided if at all possible. So, I picked the most attractive line and began the process-- that I have almost mastered and could quite possibly patent-- of preparing to walk through security. I missed something though. This airport had turned one line into the full body scan and left the other two normal.

Now, for all intents and purposes I have chosen not to be bothered by the fact that sometimes I stand and have my whole entire body undressed as some person examines me in a closed off, dark room somewhere. I don't prefer it, but in the interest of sanity, I must accept that it is going to happen from time to time and there is not much I can do to avoid it, given my frequent travel schedule. But on this particular trip, it most definitely could be avoided. I could have very easily stood in the other two lines and bypassed this intrusive machine, and not only that, I had on my jeans with the studs on the pocket. Being that this is a machine where you must remove paper from your pockets, I knew I was in trouble.

And so it was. I was asked to step to the side while they reviewed my film, then asked to go into a small room with two airport employees. What happened next was what you would probably expect. I got felt up, in a medical way. Sure, they used the terms breasts, buttocks, and groin area but the fact of the matter is, I felt a little violated. They try to make it all better by using the back of their palm, but it's awkward nonetheless.

Has anyone else experienced this new form of security at the airport? I sure hope all of you who fly feel safer thanks to people like myself who make their way to back rooms...

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