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You get 2

posted by LHiggs, a Women Talk Sports blogger
Saturday, November 14, 2009 at 6:51pm PST

About LHiggs:

Former competitive fast-pitch softball player and dancer turned steeplechaser with a best finish of 2nd in the NCAA mile and a finalist in the 2008 Olympic Trials 3000m steeplechase...more

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When I was in college and things were not going particularly the way I wanted, I would go through the following list of what sucked:
 
a) Running
b) School
c) Love
 
I would be running well and getting the attention of my flavor of the month, but my getting a C in Genetics; I would be running well, cruising through a 4.0, and getting dumped; Sometimes everything was going well, sometimes everything was in the crapper. Ultimately, though, the three columns in my mind were always what was being evaluated. 
 
Now, as a real grown-up I look at: work, running and social. It looks like I really haven't made much progress except that I replaced school with work, but there is a difference between love and social. I value my friendships much more than I value my love life these days. But that is an entirely different subject...
 
... otherwise, the stats have not changed. I have gone through phases where I hate my job, I have a hole in my foot, but an excellent boyfriend. Sometimes that boyfriend stops talking to me, the man I work for sleeps with a hooker, and I finally hit the Olympic Trials A standard. The beauty of the realization that life is generally a zero-sum game is that when things are going bad, I know that I am due for some really good luck.
 
Except that life is not quite a zero-sum game. It actually seems to come out as a +1. Or, if you are lucky, it comes out as a +1. I suppose some people go through life as a -1. Whichever way the luck falls, the reason for this is because at any given time, you get 2.
 
If you have 3 columns of value in your life, you'll notice that most often 2 are going well. There is obviously an ebb and flow in life, but most of the time, you can focus on the positives of 2.
 
So what is it that you value? 
 
I have found myself having to answer the question as to why female American running in NYC is better than male American running in NYC on multiple occasions lately. It didn't take me long to to realize that the rule of 2 is the answer to the question.
 
As a runner in New York City, you get 2. So pick: work, running and/or a social life.
 
I have gone through phases since living here where running has taken a major back seat to everything else. When I first moved here, my choices were: school, work and a social life. Running didn't even register in the top-3. Once I managed to combine school and work (receptionist at a computer company = golden opportunity to get homework done), and running with social (ditched the drinking buddies in favor of running buddies) things slowly began to change. 
 
Over time, I made more running friends and spent more time running. I suddenly found myself at 45 miles per week, then 65 and eventually as high as 85. 
 
So what does this have to do with men? Men are not social runners. Men have a hard time combining their social life with running, at least not in the way women do. Men may have training groups, but those groups plan to go out drinking together after their workouts. Women tend to get the social stimulation that they need on the run. Which means men are trying to balance work, running and a separate social life. If they really want to be a good runner, they have to ditch the social life. Try convincing a 25 year old guy in New York City to drop their social life. Note: there are a lot of 25 year old women in New York City who are also unwilling to drop their social life. Their running reflects this. 
 
Having it all: running well, shelter and being happy are all contingent on being able to combine major elements of life. There are no legitimate professional runners in New York City because professional runners have mastered the art of combining work with running, and very few professional runners could afford an apartment in New York City with what shoe companies are willing to pay. So they live in beautiful but affordable places like Flagstaff, Mammoth Lakes or Boulder.
 
Having a satisfying running career in New York City is possible. It just requires some restraint and some creativity. Maybe you find a job that has really flexible hours. Maybe you find a husband that wants you to quit your job so that he can fully support you. Or maybe you come to terms with the level you are going to be at, and find a lot of satisfaction in the fact that you are still active and still competing.
 
 
*disclaimer: I realize that this information makes me sound really lame. So, let me just defend myself really quick and explain that I do go out to dinner, bars, sometimes down an entire bottle of wine, sometimes stumble in at 3am, sometimes wake up on the side of the road in a snow bank. Okay, I made that last one up. 

 

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